This week we'll kick off a three-part series called Better Prayer. Join Kami as she reflects on four barriers to closeness with God, and some small changes you can make for more effective prayer.
This week’s feature passage: 1 Chronicles 16:10-11
Hey, welcome back to Stir. I'm Kami and we're going to start a new little segment on prayer. Now, this is ironic because I'm not great at prayer; I've always struggled with prayer in my life and I've thought a lot about why that is. So, we're kicking off three weeks of prayer and this week we're talking specifically about barriers of entry and issues that might come up.
Barriers to Prayer
The beginning point that I want to make–the overall idea–is that there might be things in your history that mean you struggle with connecting to God. An obvious one would be if you have issues with your physical father; that might reflect on how you view God in your life. So you want to be examining those things, thinking them through, and doing the mental work–as much as possible–of separating God out from the issues that plague your life on a physical level. Now, you can't do this alone, right? This is the perfect thing to take to God as you try and reinvigorate your prayer life… to be honest and ask for healing and for His help to draw closer to Him.
Okay, so that's the general underlying principle: Big things might be impacting your prayer life that you're not fully aware of. But what about when you actually get down to brass tacks and you want to offer a better prayer? What are some things that can get in the way?
Paradigm Hang-Ups
J’Non and I came up with three different categories, and the first one is that sometimes we get hung up on a cultural perspective that isn't necessarily biblical, and it has to do with what your prayer should look like in its length, its position, etc. We can become very rigid in how we view prayer (culturally) and that can lead to guilt when we don't feel like we're meeting those arbitrary standards.
So what does the Bible say about prayer? Well, it talks about praying in the night hours. It talks about lifting your hands in prayer. It talks about praying without ceasing. These things have a value, even though sometimes culturally we don't put as much weight in them. Instead of focusing on the length of your prayer or the timing of your prayer, focus instead on how you're building a relationship with God. You're turning to Him again and again throughout the day or setting aside special time to be with Him in a meaningful way that is enhancing that time spent together.
God’s Not Our Personal Genie
Second, what about when your prayers just seem small? Sometimes when your perspective is limited in your prayer life, it can feel like you're putting in a to-go order with God. “I need this taken care of, and this taken care of, and what about this?” And then you wrap up your prayer and you kind of feel empty, right? I've certainly been there. One way you can combat this if you see it in your life is by making sure you zoom out to the big picture. I think this is why Jesus said to pray, “Your kingdom come.” We're supposed to take a step back from our day-to-day life, right? We're supposed to get beyond this moment, this need, and we're supposed to look at the big picture.
Now, when we do that, we also have to say, "Your will be done." We're relinquishing what we want. We're relinquishing the laundry list of items that we need God to intervene for, and we're saying we trust in Him; we know that He's got our back. This is a very basic idea, but sometimes self-will becomes insidious and it creeps through your prayers. Personally, I find that I'll go months doing really well being outward in my prayer, and then suddenly I'm just back to “me, me, me.” So that’s something to remember and to evaluate as you go along.
Boring Prayers, Stagnant Relationship
Finally, sometimes a rut can lead to rote prayers. If you're saying the same phrases again and again to God–if you're bringing the same issues to Him–then it's probably a red flag that your relationship with Him is not vibrant and growing. I think about the conversations I have with my husband, right? If it's all just the kids, the house, the job, the things, then we're not dynamically connecting with each other. So, it's a great way to measure if we’re really connecting with God.
“Dating” God
Well, what do you do if you're not? There are seasons when it's really hard. And one of the things that J’Non came up with is to “date” God. Set time aside to think about how you're going to spend your time with God. For example, spend time thinking about prayer before you pray. This seems excessive, but having a game plan might really change things up. Once every week or two, ask yourself:
What do I really want to talk to God about today that's outside of our normal stuff?
What's an idea that I've been pondering and how it relates to the Bible or to my life?
What topic can I bring up where I can ask for His input? I can share what I've been learning and ask for inspiration so I can know more.
Meditation and Community Prayer
These date nights with God might be focused more on meditation. They might have a communal element to them; grab a friend and pray together! I know this is culturally strange for some of us, but God loves group prayers, and He thinks it's pretty cool when His believers get together and they want to talk to Him–as an encouragement for one another and also as a way to draw closer to each other. I've got to be honest: My husband and I have never prayed together. It's something that he's not entirely comfortable with. But when I hear of couples who do, they can't stop talking about how powerful it is in their lives, how it draws them closer together, and how it reminds them that God is the center of their relationship.
So, if you have access to a believing spouse and they're willing, you should really give that a try. I feel like I've been pretty vulnerable here. It's true that my prayer life goes through ups and downs and sideways and sometimes is very nearly non-existent. What about you? Are you a prayer warrior? Do you have it all figured out? Is your relationship with God vibrant and exciting? If it is, I want to hear more about it. Drop me a note (in the YouTube comments or at stirdevotion@gmail.com) and share what makes your prayer life so great and how you overcome some of these day-to-day doldrums when it comes to praying and being close to God.
