Roadbloack #2: Misaligned Priorities

What if the things keeping us from serving effectively aren't necessarily bad things—but an inability to differentiate between good things and better things? In our fourth segment in the Strength for Service series, Melissa highlights a second roadblock to sustained, joyful service: a lack of thoughtful prioritization.

If you missed earlier parts of the series, you can find them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

[Transcript]

Welcome back to our Strength for Service series. Today I want to discuss a second roadblock to sustained service: not properly prioritizing how we spend our time and energy. What if the things keeping us spiritually stuck aren't necessarily bad things—but good things that we've prioritized over better things?

Choosing the Better Part

I used the story of Mary and Martha when talking about perfectionism, but it's even more poignant when we're talking about priorities. Truly, my heart goes out to poor Martha, whom I think wanted many of the same positive things we want—to run her household efficiently, serve great food, make her guests comfortable, and be able to rely on those closest to her to support that vision. It all seems so reasonable, and I completely understand her annoyance with Mary. It must have been such a shock when Jesus corrected her attitude rather than lecturing Mary.

But notice His exact words: “Mary has chosen the better part.”

(Record scratch!)

What better part was Mary choosing? Essentially, she was prioritizing closeness with God over anything else that could pull her time and attention away. Were there other things competing for her attention? Absolutely. But she was so captivated by the presence of her Savior that everything else faded into the background.

Good Versus Excellent

Many times, we're not choosing between something good and something evil. That would actually be much easier. The challenge is choosing what is excellent over what is merely good. Martha wasn't sinning by serving. She was doing a good work by being hospitable and serving others. And yet Jesus made it clear that her priorities were disordered.

Naturally, that leads me to ask myself: am I characterized by choosing the better part—according to how Jesus defines it—or by following my own ambitions? A clean house. Tidy garden beds. An empty email inbox. A from-scratch dinner. A consistent exercise routine.

Each of these is a virtuous pursuit by itself. But when all of these competing interests are added together, they can consume so much of my time that abiding with God gets crowded out—unless I've first intentionally carved out non-negotiable space for connecting with Him.

Loving God More Than Competing Interests

In Matthew 6:24, Jesus taught that no one can serve two masters. The immediate context is money, but the principle applies more broadly: our hearts cannot give two things equal ultimate allegiance. When he uses the words “hate” and “despise” to describe how we’ll feel about the other master, it carries a comparative sense—regarding one thing as lesser than another.

So let's paraphrase the verse in a way that's both personal and lighthearted, using my favorite hobby—pickleball: Melissa cannot equally serve pickleball and God; for either she will love God less than she loves pickleball, or she will be loyal to God more than she regards pickleball.

So let’s say I accept an invitation to an 8 a.m. pickleball match to beat the summer heat. This sounds completely reasonable, but 8:00-8:30 is usually my prayer and Bible study time. I don’t think it’s wrong to strategically play my sport before the heat of the day, but the test is this: will I make time somewhere else in my day to connect with God, or is that the thing I drop from my schedule when other opportunities arise?

How we spend our time reveals what we actually believe is important. If everything gets first place, then nothing truly does—including God.

A Recipe for Burnout

Elevating dozens of virtuous tasks to an equally high status is a great way to work ourselves into a frenzy and end up in burnout.

If you could see the Melissa of five years ago, you'd see a woman who believed the hundreds of tasks filling every second of every day were all important. I couldn't find a single endeavor I was willing to give up. It was a mathematically impossible situation that relied too often on the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mantra, and eventually my health crashed. I had to admit that the road I was on wasn't helping me become the mom, wife, and Christian I wanted to be.

I was trying in vain to serve too many masters, and I was carrying a burden Jesus tells us we don't need to carry.

Listing Our Priorities

I finally felt desperate enough to seek out a life coach who specialized in helping women with this very struggle. The first thing she asked me to do was write down my top seven priorities—in order.

It was so hard to limit myself to seven!

By the end of the exercise, I had to make the difficult decision to toss overboard some uses of my time that were comparatively less important, creating space for what mattered most. I was finally accepting the hard truth that my time was finite and I truly couldn't do it all.

How Many Balls Can a Person Realistically Juggle?

As women, we tend to juggle many, many things at once. But there's a limit to how many balls even skilled jugglers can keep in the air.

So what are your most important five to ten areas to nourish in this season? And are you willing to set some less-important balls down, at least for a time, to focus on the ones you've identified? Evaluate them by their fruits and be willing to drop what’s not producing right now. You can always pick those balls up again when your season of life changes.

Personally, I found that playing hymns at church was costing me a tremendous amount of practice time. I'm not a very good pianist, so even after all that practice, I still played poorly during the service—and often ended up with a stress migraine.

I kept this up for fifteen years because stepping away from any area of service felt like I was failing God and the congregation.

But once my coach helped me understand the need to prioritize, I realized that practicing piano wasn't bearing enough good fruit to justify keeping it in my schedule while raising young kids. So I set down that ball, and the congregation has survived just fine.

Maybe I'll pick that ball up again when I'm in a less demanding season of life.

Encouragement for This Week

Hopefully I've inspired you to join me in evaluating whether the way you spend your time truly aligns with your stated values.

This week, will you embrace your inner Martha by letting your long to-do list rule your life—or will you choose the better part by prioritizing the things that have eternal value?

I'll be back next week to talk about the need for healthy boundaries in our service.

Melissa lives near Louisville, Kentucky with her husband and four children. When she isn’t on the pickleball court, you’ll find her starting innumerable creative projects or jumping into the first few chapters of her latest personal growth book, knowing she won’t have time to finish it before the next intriguing title catches her eye.