Roadblock #1: Perfectionism

In week three of our Strength for Service series, Melissa sheds light on how perfectionism is a major roadblock to joyful, sustained service. We’ll discuss the difference between perfectionism and pursuing excellence, three sinful attitudes that lead to perfectionism, and the spiritual antidotes for these attitudes.

[Transcript]

Introduction

Welcome to week three of our Strength for Service series. Today we're tackling one of the biggest drains on joyful service: perfectionism. I struggle with perfectionism myself, which either makes me qualified to talk about it, or a complete hypocrite. (Stick around and decide for yourself!)

Seeking Excellence

Does scripture encourage us to apply our best efforts to our endeavors? Absolutely. Colossians 3:23 says, “And whatever you do, do it heartily…”; Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might”; and the list goes on. Scripture makes it clear that God expects His people to strive for personal excellence.

Excellence vs. Perfectionism

So what’s the difference between excellence and perfectionism?

I define excellence as giving our best effort with what we’ve been given to work with. Perfectionism is something different. I see it as excellence being strangled by sinful attitudes. I think there are three roots that commonly choke healthy striving until it becomes unhealthy perfectionism. 

Perfectionism Root #1: A Critical Spirit

One of these is a critical spirit. It often disguises itself as “just having high standards,” first for ourselves, and eventually in our expectations of everyone else. What feels like “high standards" to us often feels like constant criticism to those closest to us. (Ask me how I know.) If this strikes a nerve, join me in calling out the critical spirit for what it is, repenting, and aiming for a more merciful approach towards others (and ourselves!).

Perfectionism Root #2: Fear

Another ugly root that grows up and twists excellence into perfectionism is a spirit of fear.

Sometimes it looks like anxiety-driven, frenzied workaholism. Jesus didn’t rebuke Martha for serving, but for being “worried and troubled about many things." She became so consumed by the million tasks she felt must be completed if she was to be the perfect hostess that she forgot what really mattered. In my own life, this looks like turning into a crazy lady 30 minutes before company arrives, rather than making peace with a home that looks like people live in it.

The other way fear seems to manifest in perfectionists is by causing them not to act. Rather than making us overwork—it makes us never begin. I've caught myself thinking, "I'd love to teach my kids more Bible lessons...but first I need to design an amazing curriculum..." Which usually means the children’s Bible study won’t happen, because ain’t nobody got time for that. Isn’t something better than nothing? I could just open the Bible and start reading it to the kids, and allow things to organically unfold from there. The Master says “Well done, good and faithful servant,” not “perfect servant,” so we shouldn’t allow great to become the enemy of good, and thereby hold us back from just getting started. The Master had nothing good to say about the servant who buried his talent in the ground out of fear.

Perfectionism Root #3: Pride

Let’s talk about the third root of sin that distorts excellence into perfectionism: pride. With pride in the mix, one’s service appears outwardly selfless, but inwardly it's driven by concern for self—my reputation, my competence, my control.

Pride-based perfectionism often isn't about doing something perfectly for the sake of God's reputation—it's about protecting our image before people. We stay up until 2:00 a.m., refuse help, redo everyone else’s work, and burn ourselves out because we want others to think we're competent, dependable, or impressive. That shifts the focus from loving others to managing our image. Jesus warned against doing good works to be seen by men, and John spoke of people who loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. 

If you have perfectionistic tendencies and suspect pride may be one root of it, a few questions you can ask are, “Would I still do this even if nobody noticed?” and “Whose reputation am I trying to protect?” Let me ask that second question again, as it gets to the heart of seeking excellence as an act of worship versus seeking excellence for the sake of self-promotion: “Whose reputation am I trying to protect?”

A Word on Matthew 5:48

Before I wrap up, I want to take a moment to address Matthew 5:48, just in case anyone is thinking, “But wait! Jesus says ‘...you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.’” The Greek word for perfect, teleios, means to be brought to a thing’s intended end. It implies completion and maturity. The Greek for “shall be” isn’t necessarily a command, but rather a future tense use of the verb “to be.” So one could paraphrase the verse this way: One day, you will complete the journey of becoming fully mature, just like God is now. This is a very similar reassurance to the one given by Paul to the Philippians when he said, “...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

Bottom Line:

In a nutshell, perfectionism promises excellence, but often produces burnout, criticism, isolation, inaction, and pride. At its worst, it can show a major lack of faith in God because we begin to feel that things will only be okay if we control every detail. God isn’t asking us to carry that kind of burden. He's looking for humble, faithful servants who are willing to let Him work through imperfect people—because that's the only kind He's ever had. 

If today's lesson exposed some perfectionism in your own heart, don't leave discouraged. The goal isn't to become careless or lower our standards; it's to redirect our hearts. We can still pursue personal excellence—but let’s do it from love instead of fear, from humility instead of pride, and from faith instead of control. That shift will result in far more strength for service.

Coming Up

We’ll pick this series up in a few weeks to talk about proper priorities. See you then!

Melissa lives near Louisville, Kentucky with her husband and four children. When she isn’t on the pickleball court, you’ll find her starting innumerable creative projects or jumping into the first few chapters of her latest personal growth book, knowing she won’t have time to finish it before the next intriguing title catches her eye.